THE PERFECT GIFT

PRODUCT REVIEW for ELECTRIC UNDERWEAR

Read this before you buy. An informed consumer is a wise consumer. The fast growing fad of Electric Underwear has reached unprecedented levels in the fashion world. Pundits are amazed at the speed of growth for this trend. Millions or at least hundreds of teenagers, who all want to be different have embraced this latest fashion. One can not watch a reality TV show without seeing someone wearing Electric Underwear. Many performances of musicians or jugglers will feature someone wearing Electric Underwear.

For your benefit we have tested and evaluated offerings from the three leading companies. Although all have similar designs in the finished product, each has perused different technologies.

Panda has great design and outstanding colors. Their power supply seems rather outdated and awkward. Although versatile, it uses either 120 volt or 240 volt AC, the power cord is only 12 feet long. There is an optional 250 foot extension, all in all a cumbersome system. One of our testers had a slight mishap and slipped into the swimming pool. Not a pretty sight. Services will be held Saturday at Maxwell' Mortuary and Garage. It will be a closed casket. If you should choose to go with Panda, we suggest avoiding rivers and thunderstorms. Incontinence could be a problem too. We apologize for the shortness of this review, but our testers all threatened to resign.

The second product we tested, is produced by Factory and Army Surplus, they are apparently owned by a group of Luddites. Their product is cheaply made, simple unisex design and one size fits all. Color selections are minimal, only three choices, Olive drab, Faded brown (with spots) and Camouflage. Some of our male testers had difficulty with the bra, removal was not a problem, but several did not know how to put it on. Every tester expressed displeasure concerning the power supply. Admittedly the two Mack truck batteries were heavy and did not fit comfortably in their backpack, but most people should be able to attach the alligator clips easily with a little instruction. We advise people with lots of body piercings to avoid this product. Some of the units we tested were marked REJECTED by GSA, familiar with the high standards of our government some of our testers resigned rather than continue. A plus in features were the clips to fastening body armor.

The third and final offering is from Gobble Services. A well made product, pleasing design and great selection of colors. The colors are all florescent, including, green, pink, yellow, blue, white, black and olive. Sizes range from really tiny to enormous. It is best to try on before buying, as the marked sizes are not accurate. It is fortunate that the product is attractive, since it is solar-powered, and needs to be worn as the outer layer of clothing. There was a little grumbling by our testers about the electrodes attached to their various body parts, and the requirement to use candles at night to maintain the solar power was a concern for some. Useful features are a USB port for charging your cellphone and WIFI capabilities. We were assured that the data being broadcast was secure, being used mostly for advertising purposes, with on only the juicer items sold to the media.

Our testers were unanimous in the opinion that all three offerings were absolutely useless and overpriced. Although they could think of no earthly use for Electric Underwear, there was reluctant admission that they would consider buying it as a gift for a friends that they didn't like. Of these three choices we are giving the nod to Factory and Army Surplus, if only because of the kickback they gave us. Be advised, avoid like the plague cheap knockoffs from fly- by- night companies using cheap labor. These products are bad enough as it is.

For this holiday season I recommend Electric Underwear for all your gift giving. Those Christmas wish lists are just interesting reading and maybe good for a few laughs, but would you seriously consider a new car for your teenager or a 5 caret diamond ring for your wife? After all they are only giving you a pair of socks or a frilly nightgown. Save stress, order Electric Underwear for everyone. It can be bought online and delivered directly to your door In a plain brown wrapper. No need to wait for Santa on December 24th to squeeze down the chimney with a bag full of gifts, most of which are the wrong size, wrong color, inappropriate for the gender or the age of the recipient. Please do not let yourself be influenced by the impracticability and uselessness of the products.





MorriCat

President, Black Cat Product Reviews.

11/16/2015

OBAMACARE DOESN'T COVER THIS

A PLAGUE OF EPHELIS

     Do you suffer from Ephelis? Are you ashamed to be seen in public? Has been over 6 months since you have had a date? Do you use an alias when you talk to your friends on the phone? You are not alone millions of people worldwide are afflicted by this debilitating condition. Ephelis has been around for centuries, and has long been a plague on fair skinned people. Scientists are not certain how Ephelis is spread, however, the prevalent opinion is that is spread through sexual contact.

     If you have Ephelis or suspect you have been in contact with anyone who has Ephelis, ask your doctor about Nocebo. This modern miracle drug, recently developed by Psychogenic Pharmaceutical Group Ltd, is unquestionably the most efficacious treatment for Ephelis. Previously the only way to alleviate the effects of Ephelis was to avoid exposure to sunlight. Many teenage boys still advocate this method as it allows them to sleep until noon or later. If you do not like to sleep all day, or the goth lifestyle does not appeal to you, Nocebo may be your solution.

     You should stop taking Nocebo and call your doctor if your hair turns red and you begin speaking with a brogue. You should avoid the consumption of Irish whiskey while taking Nocebo. If you are pregnant, thinking about becoming pregnant or know anyone who may become pregnant or who has been pregnant in the past you should not use Nocebo, but we will sell it to you anyway. Use of Nocebo frequently results in ingrown toenails, kidney and liver failure. You should avoid heavy lifting, use of machinery, wearing of galoshes or rational thoughts while using Nocebo. I would discount any rumors of death or broken legs being caused by Nocebo.

     Ethical and legal concerns have prevented many doctors from prescribing Nocebo. Surveys of several pharmacies have found a reluctance to dispense Nocebo. Initially we had concerns that these attitudes would present difficulties in selling and delivering our product. We were pleasantly surprised to find an established network of eager and accomplished entrepreneurs similar to Amway distributors, to market our product. We believe you will love Nocebo as much as we do. We are so confident that you will like Nocebo that we are offering a limited free trial for the next week. Become one of the millions that have already tried it, are highly satisfied and now report that they cannot live without it.

     Remember, Nocebo is not sold in stores. To get your free trial, just call the number on your screen, have your credit card (or someone else's credit card) ready, you will only be charged $7.99 for shipping, handling and a contribution for bail bond. We do not keep you information, we send it as usual to our associates in Nigeria within the hour. Can't wait? You can find one of our many distributors on almost any street corner or at most Hollywood parties. Just look for the skinny kid wearing baggy pants and a gray hoodie. Discounts are given for cash.

     We do not recommend the use of Nocebo for weight loss, although many of our customers report significant loss of weight, probably because they could not afford food after paying for the Nocebo. Some of our more misguided customers are of the belief that Nocebo will alleviate the symptoms of Peutz-Jeghers Syndrome. There are reports of incidents of increased body odor when using Nocebo.

     Not always lethal, at least not immediately, Ephelis can be unpleasant, undesirable and embarrassing. Nocebo can help if anything can. Get your free trial now. Interesting side effects of Nocebo have included, improved detection of colors (many previously unknown), visions and conversations with sugar plums and other mystical creatures. We still contend that there are health benefits to the uncontrollable desire to experience a colonoscopy. Our previous ad agency had made several unsustainable claims. Nocebo will not make you faster than a speeding bullet, lab test have definitely confirmed this. The claim that users were able to leap tall buildings was slightly exaggerated, the buildings being used were from a doll house and our testers still had problems clearing them in a single leap. Likewise the propensity to indulge in a single glass of Irish whiskey several times a day has not been proven to be connected to the use of Nocebo.

     FDA approval has been withheld pending further testing. To date no animals have been harmed by the testing. Since there have been hints that sanitary standards may be a concern, we are removing the chicken breeding operation from the factory next week.

     Even if you are not at present suffering from Ephelis, I recommend that you purchase your supply of Nocebo now, before the FDA and the DEA shuts us down. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

MorriCat

Chief Pharmacist

Psychogenic Pharmaceutical Group Ltd

"Better living with chemistry"