Contrary to popular opinion Cerumenitis is not a breakfast cereal. Cerumenitis is an unusually serious ailment, highly contagious and is now reaching truly an epidemic, also know as Stinky Ear, the thousands of unfortunate victims of this insidious and until now incurable malady, have long been lacking a voice. As you may well expect stinky ear is not one of the more popular diseases, such as cancer, diabetes, heart disease or chronic navel fungus. Be that as it may, Cerumenitis is spreading quickly, in some areas it has already reached epidemic magnitudes. highly contagious, it is commonly spread by ear to ear contact. As discussion of stinky ear is not a subject for polite conversation, it may be some time before you are aware that you are a victim. your best friend, your spouse or even people who don't like you will be hesitant to inform you that you have stinky ear. they may snicker or tend to avoid contact, preferring to send text messages or posting photos of your ears on facebook, but, outright saying your ears stink, no way! watch for symptoms, such as severe hangnail, frizzy nose hair, or unexplained chronic pregnancy. If you are subjected to persistent and excessive licking of you ears by strange dogs, it is probable you have an incipient case of stinky ear.
You may well ask, "What if anything can alleviate this malady". In the past many people have resorted to a mixture of burnt chicken feathers, eye of newt and tongue of toad, (sometimes with a touch of garlic). Results were mostly disappointing and sometimes fatal. Driping hot wax from a plumbers candle has been quickly discredited as the volunteeres refused to continue the experiments, and the screams annoyed the neighbors.
Despair not, a glimmer of hope, nay not just a glimmer but a virtual flood of hope, Morricat Pharmaceutils has developed a cure.(not yet FDA apprioved). Waxxout, a lotion applied directly into the ear, has been demonstrated to effect relief in most cases.Waxxout is blend of various herbs and organic Pheeline-P (active ingrediant commonly used in acne medication).
People who are allergic to cats, have hangnails, are pregnant or have any hope of procreation should avoid the use of Waxxout. Side effects have included, massive growth of ear hair, and the tendency to become a hermit.
Waxxout is available for the low price of $,05 per ounce and can be purchased in economical 55 gallon durms.
MorriCat,
CEO
MorriCat & Sons Pharmaceutils
