PUBLIC RELATIONS PROBLEM

THE MOSTLY MISUNDERSTOOD TASMANIAN DEVIL

Most of us have formed our options of Tasmanian devils based on the Looney Tunes cartoon from the 1950's. We think of the Tasmanian devil as a fierce, seething, snarling, insatiable lunatic, a notoriously cantankerous disposition and the tendency to fly into a maniacal rage when threatened by a predator, fighting for a mate, or defending a meal. Early cartoonists dubbed it a "devil" after witnessing such displays, which include teeth-baring, lunging, and an array of spine-chilling guttural growls.

Nothing could be further from the truth. Recent research and extensive studies have found Tasmanian Devils to be docile, gentle, and fun loving. One can not go wrong by sharing one's home with one of these remarkable creatures. It is tragic that they were mislabeled 'Devil', as you can see from the pictures below, Angel would have been more appropriate. Close you eyes and imagine, sitting in your most comfortable chair, with one of these warm furry creatures nestled in you lap, emitting soothing cooing sounds. We have observed more aggressive behavior, when their food supply is threatened they may whine or even squeak.

Eloise

'Puggsie'

Sicentists at the University of Sydney have discovered that he milk of the Tasmanian Devil has the power to kill the drug resistant super bugs that are plaguing our hospitals. Apparently their milk produces a natural antibiotic As a result the Tasmanian Devil is becoming in greater demand in medical research and in the production of pharmaceuticals.

MorriCat Pharmaceuticals, in partnership with the NSA has developed a dairy farm in the town of Leggo, Mississippi. (Yalobusha county). Our heard consists of 12,000 lactating females, hat we milk every 4 hours. We pride ourselves in the humane treatment of our stock. There is no more than 4 to a cage and each is allotted 1 hour every week in natural light. There wa some controversial when the NSA suggested disposing of the excess cubs by burying them in the local landfill. This was soundly rejected in favor of our current program to sell them for $1.02 each (plus shipping and handling). Each cub is flash frozen and shrink wrapped, before being mailed o the customer. Upon arrival they can be defrosted in your microwave oven afterwards they usually recover with a little CPR (if not simply return for a full refund).

Just visualize, your home complete with this small lovable furry creature. Scurrying back and forth through your rooms. Nestled on you lap in front of the fire. They are easy to care for, only desiring a handful of nuts, berries and chocolate for substance a nod of approval and a few tummy rubs. We find at the dairy farm that by supplementing their diet with black-eyed peas and 'chittlins', they are more content.

For those who are concerned about the prevalence of the new Superbugs, I suggest ordering a breeding pair, you can then have a handy permanent supply of antibiotics.

MorriCat, CEO and Chief of Research and Development.

MorriCat and Sons Pharmaceuticals

JUST A MINUTE

                                  A STITCH IN TIME

Most of us are aware that daylight saving time is fast approaching. The end of Daylight Saving Time will require all law-a-biding peoples to reset their clocks back one hour at 2 AM on  November 6th, this year. Those being extremely law-a-biding or overly cautious, or on parole,  may even consider setting their clocks back 2 hours.

Much confusion abounds, concerning procedures to adjust our clocks.  Last year there were several  instances of people who could not stop resetting their clocks each time the 2 o'clock hour struck. Everett Lawson has been confined in the Chillicothe Institute for the Criminally Insane since last November. He keeps insisting it is 1 o'clock, and turning his watch back every time it reached 2 o'clock.  I think he may have been right .

There is some debate as to the purpose and usefulness of Daylight Saving Time. Originally, proposed as a method of saving and accumulating daylight during the long summer days to be distributed during the winter. Proud as Congress was at finally passing any legislation, it was soon apparent that there was little or no savings of daylight or if any was saved it had been snapped up by Wall Street speculators.

As a public service,  MorriCat and Sons being purely altruistic, are offering to call you at 2 AM to remind you to adjust the time on your clocks. The call is free, with just a $9.99 convince fee. As a public service we will call other people for you.  Examples could be telephone solicitors, political pollsters or perhaps your ex spouse. The convenience fee for this is $19.99.

Hurry, don't let Daylight  Saving Time creep up on you.  Call now while we still have calling slots available.  For an additional honorarium, we can have an IRS agent with a heavy foreign accent make the call.

Your humble servant.
MorriCat

P. S.  My oldest son just reminded me that we can remove you from our call list for fee.