SUPER MOON

CHICKEN LITTLE WAS RIGHT

The sky is falling, yes I said the sky is falling. The more observant of you may have noticed that the Moon has been increasing in size for the last few days. Already there has been an apparent 14% increase in the size of the moon. This is the result of the moon falling toward the earth. When the Moon finally strikes the earth this will be an unparalleled disaster, forget global warming, forget floods, forget famines, forget plagues and war, this is really bad, this is not something that happens every day. This will be a catastrophe comparable to the closing of every Starbucks in North America.

NASA has been appraised of this situation, however, to date they have been in denial, and have refrained from informing the public of the gravity of this situation. Repeated attempts to contact anyone at NASA have been futile. An anonymous employee (possibly the janitor), had no comment, but advised us to submit a FOIA request when the office reopened.

Congress was more help. Promises were obtained to form a committee to study the predicament as soon as they finished balance the budget. We are looking for a volunteer to hold their finger in the fire while this is happening. Further inquires gained a more definite timetable, although we are still not exactly sure when Hell is expected to freeze over.

As a proactive measure we have formed a Blue Ribbon Committee, consisting of many disgraced members of the Congress, former presidential aspirants, under-employed radio talk show hosts, and several noted Astrologists. A plan was quickly formed and agreed on unanimously. Pennies were collected from school children all over the world, and widows and orphans trust funds were raided. The funds raised, less a small percentage for administrative costs were applied to arranging for the Earth to pass between the Sun and the Moon creating a total eclipse of the Moon,

It is theorized that the Earth will block the gravitational pull of the Sun allowing the Moon to rebound and resume its natural orbit. In the unlikely event that this does not happen all funds will be returned to the donors, less any administrative costs and attorneys fees.

We hope you will take the opportunity to observe this unique event. The show will start shortly after sundown, on Sunday September 27^th. The spectacle will be visible everywhere in North America, with the exception of Kansas, which chose not to participate. Rain date will be October 3^rd. All are invited to attend, a small donation is requested for standing room, box seats are available for lots of money. Don't miss it. Refreshments are available for a fee.

MorriCat 

APPRENTICE SEER and SHOE REPAIR MASTER