SNOWFLAKE by HELEN KLINE

SNOWFLAKE

ONCE UPON A TIME, THERE WAS A SMALL SNOWFLAKE. HE WAS BORN ONE MORNING DURING THE FIRST SNOW FALL OF THE WINTER. AS HE FELL SO SLOWLY TO THE ALREADY SNOW COVERED EARTH HE NOTICED THE CHILDREN PLAYING IN THE SNOW. THEY WORE BRIGHT COLORFUL COATS AND STOCKING CAPS WITH A PUFFY TASSEL ON THE TOP, THAT WOULD BOUNCE ALL AROUND AS THEY RAN AND ROLLED IN THE SNOW. THEIR LAUGHTER COULD BE HEARD, AS THEY WOULD MAKE A SNOWBALL TOSSING IT IN THE AIR FOR THE PUPPY TO CHASE. LITTLE SNOWFLAKE COULD HARDLY WAIT TO LAND ON THE SNOW BELOW SO HE COULD PLAY WITH ALL THE CHILDREN.

JUST AS SNOWFLAKE TOUCHED THE GROUND, A LITTLE BOY WHO HAD BEEN HIDING BEHIND A TREE REACHED DOWN AND SCOOPED UP A HANDFUL OF SNOW. SNOWFLAKE FELT EAGER TO BE HIS FRIEND AND WAS HAPPY. THE BOY PRESSED ALL THE SNOW VERY TIGHT AND THE BALL BECAME VERY HARD. “OH BOY,” THOUGHT THE LITTLE SNOWFLAKE, “NOW I WILL BE ABLE TO PLAY WITH THE CHILDREN.”

SNOWFLAKE WAS SOON TO LEARN THIS WAS NOT A VERY NICE LITTLE BOY, HE DID NOT INTEND TO PLAY WITH THE OTHER CHILDREN. HIS FACE WAS WRINKLED WITH A FROWN AND HIS MOUTH HAD A SLY GRIN AS HE PEERED AROUND THE TREE, WHERE HE HAD BEEN HIDING. HE WATCHED AS THE CHILDREN PLAYED, WAITING FOR THEM TO COME CLOSER. SNOWFLAKE WAS CONFUSED AND HE DID NOT UNDERSTAND.

THE BOY WATCHED AS A SMALL BOY, WHO WAS TOSSING A SNOWBALL FOR HIS PUPPY CAME CLOSER TO THE TREE. HE WAS LAUGHING, AS HIS PUPPY WOULD JUMP AND RUN AFTER THE SNOWBALL. THEY DID NOT NOTICE THE BOY WITH THE FROWN. AS THE SMALL BOY THREW HIS SNOWBALL CLOSE TO THE TREE, THE PUPPY RAN HAPPILY TO FETCH IT, SUDDENLY THE FROWNING BOY JUMPED OUT FROM BEHIND THE TREE AND THREW HIS HARD SNOWBALL WHERE SNOWFLAKE WAS SO FIRMLY PRESSED. TO SNOWFLAKES HORROR, IT WAS FLYING TOWARDS THE LITTLE BOYS FACE. SNOWFLAKE WAS HELPLESS AND COULD NOT STOP FROM HITTING THE LITTLE BOY.

“OH HOW AWFUL SNOWFLAKE FELT!” HE NEVER WANTED TO HURT THE LITTLE BOY; HE ONLY WANTED TO PLAY WITH THE CHILDREN. THE SMALL BOY COVERED HIS FACE AND BEGAN TO CRY. THE FROWNING BOY RAN AWAY LAUGHING HE WAS A VERY NASTY LITTLE BOY. ALL OF THE OTHER CHILDREN CAME RUNNING WIPING THE SNOW FROM THE BOYS FACE AND WIPING HIS TEARS WITH THEIR MITTENS. THEY HUGGED AND KISSED HIM UNTILL HE STOPPED CRYING. THE LITTLE SNOWFLAKE FELL TO THE GROUND IN A HEAP. IF IT WERE POSSIBLE HE WOULD HAVE CRIED ALSO, BUT HE COULD ONLY JUST MELT. THE PUPPY CAME TO WHERE HE WAS AND BEGAN TO ROLL IN THE SNOW AND AS HE DID LITTLE SNOWFLAKE STUCK TO HIS NOSE. PUPPY BEGAN TO BARK, ALL THE CHILDREN SAW THIS, AND THEY LAUGHED AT SUCH WHAT A CUTE SNOWFLAKE THIS WAS. THE LITTLE BOY WALKED OVER TO THE PUPPY AND WIPED THE SNOWFLAKE ONTO HIS MITTEN. HE SMILED AND SAID THIS WAS THE PRETTIEST SNOWFLAKE HE HAD EVER SEEN, AS IT GLISSENED IN THE SUN LIGHT.

NEVER AGAIN WAS SNOWFLAKE SAD. HE WOULD ALWAYS BE HAPPY FOR THE NICE LITTLE CHILDREN THAT CAME TO PLAY IN THE FRESH NEW SNOW. REMEMBER THAT FOR EVERY SNOWFLAKE THERE ARE NO TWO ALIKE AND THE NEXT TIME YOU SEE A SNOWFLAKE FALL FROM THE SKY REMEMBER THIS LITTLE SNOWFLAKE AND SMILE. HE WILL ALWAYS COME BACK TO PLAY WITH THE CHILDREN DURING THE NEXT NEW SNOWFALL.

THE END

HELEN KLINE

SAVE OUR BEARS

DON’T CRIMINALIZE BEARS

Recent incidences of bears turning over dumpsters and breaking into peoples homes and urinating in public, have Aspen City Council Members panicking.  After a quickly called emergency council meeting, police were instructed to aggressively enforce the bear ordinances. Citations will be issued with hefty Aspen sized fines and when appropriate, jail time. In anticipation of the increased the Aspen police is being enhanced by the addition of 3 new patrol officers and 18 new meter maids. All police personnel, including the meter maids, janitors, and trustees are beings sent to the New York City Police Academy, for CPR refresher training, an intense course in community relations procedures, how to identify a real gun, advanced choke-hold techniques, the many uses of the Taser, using your Smith & Wesson 44 for crowd control, and deflecting accusations of police brutality.

Aspen jail spokesperson Bubba Johnson Jr, says. ''The jail's policy is to accept all inmates regardless of race, religion, political affiliation, sexual orientation, or species.''  Problems may arise, because of expected retrofit needed to provide reasonable accommodations for the bears. Costs are expected to exceed $250,000,000 (cost overruns are expected).  Budget constraints will require that plans for the jail’s new swimming pool, sauna, steam-bath,  wet bar and the outdoor Olympic sized shuffleboard court, be put on hold.

Consensus among regular residents of the jail, were unanimous in opposition to sharing living quarters with bears, considering loss of their proposed amenities. The bee hives and nut and berry bushes do not generate as much resentment as the agreement to let the bears sleep for up to 3 months. Mumbling and grumbling about the probability of the anticipated snoring was intense the hardened felons who were attempting rehabilitation expressed concerns that their water coloring and knitting classes will be disrupted, jailers and even some of the masseurs are growing nervous. . Many of the more hardened felons, career criminals and frequent inmates expressed plans to take their business elsewhere, Vail and Steamboat Springs were two of the most popular considered alternatives, with East Ranielle, West Virginia a close third.

Several bears have expressed the intent to leave their ancestral home before the police return in late February. Neighboring municipalities are already gearing up for an influx of immigrants. So far there have been no overtures of welcome from any entity other than the Pitkin County dump, where several bears are currently employed as garbage sorting technicians..

Rumors of any change in Aspen generates controversy and opposition . Spontaneous demonstrations are even now being organized, both for and against the bears and their rights. Many Aspen residents and tourists are eager to participate in the demonstration, comments such as; this will be bigger than Ferguson, and who’s got the matches and let’s party,  abound. Several people have expressed the intentions to march in both demonstrations.

Street vendors hawking hoodies and sweatshirts with the acronym expressing the Save Our Bears motto have already begin to appear.  NFL scouts have been seen driving white SUV’s through the alleys at dusk, looking for possible recruits from the bear community. We have from a sometimes reliable source that the theory is ‘ a good solid felony conviction would be as good as a college degree for a linebacker’.  The practically unknown musician, ‘Bear Donkey’, who bills himself as the world’s worst rapper, will be performing a benefit concert for bear’s rights, titled ‘Let it all hang out’. Other celebrities and politicians  have yet to express any interest or disinterest in supporting the bears..  An apt description of the situation would be ‘an overwhelming wave of apathy’. There have been flocks of animal and civil rights activities over-running Aspen. Everyday you can see civil rights workers registering bears to vote. Hotels are full and waits in restaurants are approaching 3 hours. and It is expected that as the movement grows they will be an abundance of photo ops and more celebrities and politicians are expected to jump on the bandwagon.

In a town as affluent as Aspen it is shameful to see one of our most precious resources, the bear, treated so shabbily. I am adamantly in favor of obeying the law, but, sometimes the law can be unjust. I believe this is the case with the persecution of the bears, and plan to work diligently to have the law repealed.. In the coming weeks in Aspen you may well see bears, some dressed in Santa suits, standing on street corners, holding cans with placards reading ‘please help soon to be homeless’, support our bears, give to the SOB fund. Empathy is all well and good, but money is better. Give til it stops hurting!

MorriCat

Champion of social justice

12/7/2014

SEASONS

Spring, a new beginning, crisp mornings, perfumes of flowers, gentle rain and promises of warmth. Dreams begin.

Summer, long lazy days, warm nights, we walk in moonlight, as the dream continues, we doze in warm sun.

Autumn, time to reflect, no longer young, nor yet old, floods of golds and browns, as flowers bow their heads.

Winter, cool blankets of white with sparkling diamonds cover the land. God is near, all is well, we dream of heaven.

life continues...

WHAT'S NEWS PUSSYCAT?

Essential facts about news.

Ever wonder where news comes from? Anthropologists have discovered evidence of news circa 6600 BC during the reign of the long and gratefully forgotten Egyptian pharaoh, King Tsh-Tsh-Bushamba, a progressive almost liberal ruler, he believed that if his subjects were better educated, they would be more productive and he could collect more gold. After assembling his trusted advisers and many wise men he assigned them the task of  educating his subjects.  As Egyptians do not at this time play football or basketball, there was no practical purpose to have schools or institutes of higher learning.  After years of study and polls of citizens, the concept of relating to the common citizens about the happenings of the day was developed. There appears to be no requirement for accuracy or truth in this recounting of events, only the requirement to present what the general populace wishes to hear or what the rulers wish them to believe.

News is a renewable resource. Everyday and sometimes more often, there appears to be a bottomless cornucopia overflowing with a variety of news, good news, bad news, true news, news you are glad is not true, fashion news, sports and most importantly news about celebrities. News accumulates during the day and is presented to the eager public in just before dinner, and again just before bedtime. Is the news good for you?  I repeat, the news is presented to you just before dinner and again just before bedtime (you be the judge). Personally I attribute poor digestion and many sleepless nights to this timing.

Should children and small animals be exposed to news? The general consensus is no, news has too much violence and prurient content, considering there is the possibility that some of the news could be accurate, it is determined that their time would be better spent playing video games, or watching educational television such as, 'WWF Superstars of Wrestling', 'Dancing With The Stars', or even 'America's got Talent'. Where they could learn new and useful skills.

How do you get your news? A recent scientific survey has determined that 49% of people get their news from Kim Kardashian's 'tweets' 27% from conservative or liberal talk radio (both completely objective). 32% have lost the television remote and now watch nothing but the Home Shopping Network. My preference for news is Marge's Hair and Nail Solon, there you can get all the breaking and prurient news much of which is very interesting, I am always curious as to the activities of my neighbors. Patrons of Marge's Hair and Nail Solon, have a motto, “Don't let yourself become news”.

News should be true, accurate and presented in a manner easily understood.  To the best of my knowledge this is and has always been the case, witness the White House press releases.

What happens to 'old' news? News is basically juvenile, although on occasion some news will mature, when this happens it becomes history. No one knows much about history, although rumored to be useful, and once required study for Junior High School students, it has fallen out of favor and is now only known to a few dedicated scholars. These scholars (also called historians) are easily recognized by their uniform.   Baggy trousers, brown tweed jackets, narrow ties (plaid usually), thick (3/8 inch) glasses and an unlit pipe sticking from their mouth, a senior historian is differentiated by a long gray speckled beard, dotted with dried soup and bread crumbs.

In conclusion; news can be very useful as it enables you to fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time.  All-in-all that should be enough for most purposes.

MorriCat,

Purveyor of Truths

December 1^st 2014

BARE FACTS

Grin and bear it

Bears are large furry creatures, with big teeth and sharp claws. They are often misunderstood, despite their size and fearsome appearance, they are placid and gentle creatures, preferring to spend their days in quiet activities such as fishing, knitting, literary clubs or discussing the merits of California wines. Their primary diet consists of nuts and berries although many have developed a taste for caviar. Not highly motivated beasts bears spend much of their time asleep, on occasion they will sleep continuously for several weeks.

Poverty has long been a problem for bears. Unemployment among bears in the United States has reached an all time high. Few if any bears have full time jobs, Smokey and Yogi Bear being notable exceptions. Others have found positions in show business, that is in circuses and zoos or as street performers dancing and playing the Hurdy-Gurdy for tips. Restricted to these low paying positions, remuneration usually consisting of only room and board. Working conditions are often abominable with, long hours, noise, no personal internet usage, smoke breaks or access to Starbucks. Some more entrepreneurial bears have even begun a garbage sorting and recycling business in mountain resorts at first fairly successful, complaints from extremely liberal residents has resulted in unduly restrictive regulations. As a result this work must often be performed clandestinely in many areas.

Bears are at a disadvantage in the job market, most are illiterate, few have drivers licenses or even state ID's. It is estimated that less than 10% have cell phones. Many employers are now running credit checks and requiring drug testing as conditions of employment. Bears naturally resent and resist these requirements. Employers are also leery of their sleep habits, fearing their attendance might be erratic.

If not home schooled, educational opportunities are severely limited. Consolidation has left many bear communities without access to local schools, a situation which  I expect to persist without access to more off-road school buses. Teachers are also wary of having bears in the classroom. It is a common belief that they are disruptive troublemakers. Bear children consequently spend much of the time they should be learning in detention halls, forced to listen to hours of Barry Manilow tunes? As a result, literacy rates among bears is lower than professional football players, and only slightly above reality show audiences

Bears are definitely treated as second class citizens, victims of rampant prejudice, being treated worse than used car salesmen, homeless people, undocumented immigrants, feral chickens and in some cases even republicans. Several states have passed laws allowing and even encouraging the killing of bears for a fee. There are few if any bear families that have not lost a loved one to these gallant sportsmen.

Housing conditions are deplorable. The majority of bears are forced to inhabit cold damp caves or hollow logs. Central heating, running water, indoor plumbing, and electric are all considered luxuries and are generally unavailable. Gregarious animals the entire family may share a single room, certainly an inducement for children to move out. Few of these bear families have access to the internet or cable TV.

Much as I deplore and sympathize with the plight of bears, I cannot recommend visits by social workers or environmental activists. Considering that bears are rather large animals with large teeth and sharp claws. I suspect they may be inclined to change their dietary habits if an opportunity arises.

MorriCat

Animal Rights Advocate

REFLECTIONS

YESTERDAY IS ALWAYS.

Forever memories, a long forgotten kiss, far away, now only a faint dream. It may not have been, but always I shall wish it had.

The breath of angels comes newly to my thoughts as sounds upon the wind. I remember you, remember now and forever.

Warmth of sun upon my brow brings only remembrance of your touch. A touch never to be forgotten.

Now I have peace, now I have love. in this the best of all possible worlds. if this be madness let it linger.

To be continued...

AN UNPLEASANT EXPERIENCE

In need of relaxation, I thought to avail myself of one of the many ocean cruises offered this Fall. I called a local travel agency to inquire. It was difficult to choose from the many options. Finally I picked an intriguing little trip through the Caribbean for seven days in December. A penthouse suite was available for what I felt was a fair price of only $12000, plus $3900 for the single supplement.

Imagine my surprise when the agent offered me a discount! That’s right, a discount! For several moments I was speechless, I had to ask him to repeat his statement. Surely I had misheard, but no, it was true he had offered a 30% discount. In order to regain my composure I settled lower into my chair stared at the light fixture and pondered the fate of the many flies which had became trapped in the globe. If I have ever been more insulted, l have long forgotten. It is regrettable that dueling is no longer fashionable. In another time I would have demanded satisfaction, certainly arranging a dawn encounter with pistols.

Finally I was able to rise from the chair, I mumbled incoherently that I must take the cat to the Vet and stumbled from the office. The journey home was nerve racking. Fearing that old ladies might offer me their seat if I were to ride the bus, I slunked to my house, staying as much as possible in shadows trying to avoid homeless people who would certainly offer me money. Sweat was rolling from my brow and all my limbs were shaking. Never was I more embarrassed.

What was happening to me? Had I became old? Were my clothes no longer fashionable? Did I appear to be a pauper? Would I be expelled from my clubs? How was this to affect my social status? How will this affect my golf game? I have always proudly paid full price (or more) for everything! Under no circumstance will I allow myself to be classed with the common bourgeoisie, peasants or proletariat. No, I cannot countenance the giving or acceptance of discounts to one of my class. Just thinking of the experience causes me to swoon and my pulse to race and I must take rest.

After a long nap and a bowl of warm cream my normal calmness returned. I concluded that the entire unpleasant experience could only be attributed to the ignorance and incredible rudeness of the clerk.

Vowing not to have my spirits crushed, I called another travel agency and was able to arrange a cruise at twice the regular price. All is well in my world.

MorriCat, Paragon of sophistication

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